I stood at the bottom of the stairs. Completely shocked. They stood at the top, held in that in-between moment. You know the moment, the one that gets positioned right after the bad choice was made and yet right before the full extent of the consequences are realized. They waited.

Side note: Have you ever realized how incredibly powerful this moment is?? What we believe in this moment has the power to dictate every moment, thought and feeling after. There is a spiritual battle over this moment.

In full disclosure and transparency this was not one of my prouder parenting moments. I will spare you the back story, all that needs to be known are the words I used. A.K.A…the ammo I loaded into the enemy’s weapon to be used against my children. Lovely, huh? And yet, the shield of faith that was used by my children to defend themselves is something that will forever stay with me.

These typically kind, funny, obedient children had acted drastically out of character, sinning against one another, and I was at a total loss. I stared, mouth gaping, groping around for an angle at which to approach the situation, and then out they tumbled….”WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?”

Those were the words I chose. I cringe just writing it out and re-living it. I hurled these words in an attempt to make a point, that point being that this behavior was so contrary to what they knew to be appropriate, God-honoring and respectful. Speaking life should never be sacrificed in an attempt to make a point. They came down the stairs and we processed, discipline was administered, we prayed, there was forgiveness given and received and then they were dismissed to return to whatever they were doing. And yet, no one moved. It was clear they had more to say.

“Mom..” she started out tentatively..”You asked us who we were.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

I didn’t know what she was talking about.

She repeated, “you questioned who we were.”

silence.

It came back to me. The words I had uttered in frustration. The Holy Spirit was clearly revealing the way I had allowed my feelings to dictate my words and how damaging they were. I took a deep breath as the full weight of what I had communicated, and what they had potentially heard, settled into my heart. I didn’t know what to say, so she continued.

“I know we did something wrong, but you always say that, what we do doesn’t change who we are, and we are still children of God. You always say that can never change” She was emerging from behind her shield of faith, the truth she believed. It was incredible.

This is what the enemy does! He questions who we are. He draws our attention to our behavior with the evil intent of allowing it to label us. He casts doubt where assurance should reign, He raises fear when faith and love are our banner. He accuses when we have been acquitted.

There are so many reasons why it is important to know and believe WHO you are, but one of these reasons is so that you can combat shame and condemnation. The enemy, and sometimes other people, want to heap shame upon shame so that even AFTER you have received forgiveness you linger and wallow in defeat. This shame effectively strips you of the power you have to live in victory, in freedom.

Romans tells us that there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…we are not condemned!! Through the willing sacrifice of Christ, He defiantly and decisively overcame the power of sin and death. He shed His blood for our forgiveness, and His perfect sacrifice cleanses us from our “feelings of guilt” (Heb 10:2) I have boldly proclaimed this truth to my children, speaking this over and over to them – they are perfectly loved, seen, cherished, protected, delighted in, forgiven and powerful, by and through Christ, through NO act of their own. They did nothing to deserve these amazing things, they simply accepted this gift He offered.

For her to stand courageously on truth that day gave me a gracious reminder. First, to not allow my feelings to dictate what comes out of my mouth, no matter how shocking their behavior..;), and to never forget that who I am doesn’t get determined, changed, altered or tainted by what I do. When I sin, either by choice or accident, I can remain unashamed, and without condemnation, because the Spirit reminds me, that is not who I am. The cross is still more powerful than my behavior. The cross still gets the final word, and no thought, feeling, or behavior brought against it can stand. This gives us power to walk boldly and confidently, my adoption into His family is experienced when I come into agreement with who He says that I am. Shame is defeated when I agree with God.

I was deeply touched by her refusal to be moved, she stood in grace. They accepted the consequences of their actions and yet their actions were not given power to define them. May we all believe so strongly and willingly, that only our God gets to define us, and he defines us as His Beloved.

Beholding His Glory,

Aubrie