It had been a long day. The kind that by 9am you want a redo, but once you get to 2pm your mindset switches to survival-mode, “just make it through”. All of us collectively felt it. There had been harsh words said, impatience with shortcomings; and I had been the chief leading the charge into fleshly nastiness. When we choose to work in this role of “mother” relying on our own strength, it is our children who suffer the worst consequences.

My boy was carrying the weight of this day. And I was heavy with guilt.

Sometimes guilt can be an unbearable load, us mamma’s carry it all too often, and alone.

My perspective of the day felt as if everything was against me, I was forging head first into the fight without an army, it was just me, and I was losing. This young son of mine felt that way too, except in his experience I was the one blocking his every advance. My battle was not with him, it never is, but he didn’t know that, and at age 6 he can’t.

We were both drowning, desperate for a break in the storm, just a moment to catch our breath. On this day it would come in the form of surrender, and a reassuring truth. One that would soothe our weary hearts and bring restoration in the midst of chaos. He does that, works within our situation. Not always to change our situation, but to grab our attention and speak to us, while allowing us to stay within the ensuing confusion.

The moment was God-given and Spirit-led. I knelt down, looked into those blue eyes that had begun to cry in desperation and frustration and I said the first thing that came to mind, the only thing I wanted him to know in that moment.

“I am in your corner. I am on your team. We might not always agree, and we will disappoint one another, but you must always come back to one thing, the truth. I am for you.”

It calmed us both, gave us some clarity and we sat in that moment, on the kitchen floor, holding one another. I said my “I am sorry’s” asked for his forgiveness. Soaking in the warmth of his little hand on my back, feeling all his weight trust my arms, I was overwhelmed by that same truth being spoken to my spirit by my Sweet Savior. As I held my little man, Jesus held me.

This life can really make us believe that everything and everyone is against us, that we have to go it alone. When we believe that we are alone we are more defensive, we fight harder, defend whats ours more adamantly and refuse to give up. But what if there was power in our corner? What if love was on our team? What if the God of this world and your heart was for you? That changes things!

If my son can understand this truth (about me and his Savior) and believe it, despite what he might experience in this life and within our relationship, then he will have solid ground to return to, when life throws him a curveball, when our relationship hits a rocky patch, or he doesn’t understand what I am asking him to do or why, then he can always come back to one thing. I am for him and I have his back. In every season in life, through every mistake, and despite foolish choices, he is my son and I am on his team. I am wearing his jersey, I am his number one fan.

At the end of that day I humbled myself, got on my knees and thanked God for His grace and His forgiveness. He held my heart and lovingly told me that He was in my corner. He was for me and He was my number one fan. But the beauty of our Great God is that he doesn’t just cheer from the stands, I can experience His very life each and every day. His strength can be relied upon, His peace can be my own. He chose me before the foundations of this world, then sent His perfect Son to pay the penalty of my sin and adopted me into His family. Just so He could be in my corner, to give me the ability to experience victory; life abundantly, despite my experience on this earth!

As we face frustrations, disappointments, or injustice and although we don’t always understand His ways, or know His plan…there is an absolute truth your heart can always find refuge in; He loves you. Go back to that.

He is for you. He gave it all so that you and I could know that, and believe it!